Hello Darkness my old friend..I am back with you again!

Well, off late have started kayaking every weekend. It's good fun.

Placid water, nice weather, early morning breeze...Row away, make your own wake!!

I can draw a parallel from my kayaking to my life as well. Unfortunately, the parallel ends at the fact that I am the sailor.

The winds are not as gentle, the current not as placid. The boat not as steady.

1. The first lesson I learnt on the kayak was that however hard you may want to think that you are in control - reality is starkly different. I have broken all my delusions about being in complete control of my life. It's a fundamental realization of apocalyptic proportions - it's broken thru all previously held beliefs, thought processes, action plans...everything.

2. While rowing, you have to be careful when rowing among a group of kayaks - ripples caused by others can easily topple you.

Similarly, been a rough week for me - and I don't know which whirlpool I stirred to cause the swirl. Relations strained at work. Incessant workload pressure, ridiculously long working hours for making presentatios. Stress in general as well on other fronts - Mom's not well, Dad needs me, questions on decisions I made, am about to make - some of the old demons which I had quelled returned.

Repeatedly found myself marooned away - like a lone survivor finding his way to land.

3. On the kayak, you can't keep rowing endlessly. You have to take breaks, else you gonna burn out your arms real fast.

Had made a plan to visit Langkawi this weekend. Had to cancel that for a hoard of reasons. Now am beginning to feel I shouldn't have cancelled the trip.

I need a break...a long one. Want to be cut-off from the world, from those million chores and issues that I need to attend to. Feel like just scurrying off one weekend - no mobile, no internet...nothing!

Just me, my thoughts and some introspection on where the hell I want to take my kayak.