Eating the bread I earn...Quite literally

Ate bread today for all my meals - two toasts for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, two sandwiches for snacks, toast sandwiches for dinner. Hell, I even feel like a bread now...I have all the pores and the soft center (I am a pragmatist you see ;-) ).

Let me narrate the story of my 6 months, and all the bread!!

I can truly claim that I have eaten all the bread I have earned with all my effort and toil for the past 6 months.
What the heck! I have been eating so much bread, even the Subway lady on duty during lunch knows my choice of bread by rote now!! She sees me entering the restaurant, gives me that knowing smile, pulls out the loaf she needs to from her rack, cuts it into half and passes it along the quay to her colleague handling the vegetables.

So here I am, all confident and beaming with pride that I have finally come of age, earning and eating my bread. Surely, as the wisdom of yore reverberated in my head, I'd now find contentedness, true happiness and success in life. So, day after day, month after month, I diligently follow the path that hath been layeth, in anticipation of glory that lay just round the bend.

But hey, 6 months have already gone by in a whiff. And sadly, to my utter disbelief and a reverie-breaking shock, I am beginning to realize that the bread isn't the sweetest and satisfying grub as the age old aphorisms had me believe! All I have to show for it is an horribly upset metabolism rhythm :-).

So, in my agony and depression, the realization dawns on me, like the streak of first morning light, that the "time is now" (Ref: Previous post - The ToI India Poised 2007 campaign). Time for the bread to stay on its rack and for the new age foods to roll out!! Thank you ToI...as you truly self-admittedly and humbly had said - you are the best! :P.

From tomorrow, I say, bring on the Ice-creams and the Pastries and the Maccaronies Babieee...

P.S. - Technically, "now" should have implied today, but unfortunately it's already past dinner, and my next meal is only breakfast tomorrow morning. Hence, the breaking of the shackles of bread shall happeneth from tomorrow. Ain't I a fast learner!!

India Poised - Anthems with a meaning...

ToI is running a 6-week long campaign called "India Poised" on its website and their news channel - Times Now - to mark 2007 as the year of India. The campaign's base theme - The time for India is now.

Yeah right!! Will someone please come forth and explain to this dimwitted soul which year isn't the year of India? When is "now" not the time for India? If you can explain such lofty concepts into my weasly head, I will revere your benevolence all my life!!

The skepticism and "respect" for ToI apart, the website is running a series of notes, called anthems, on India from respectable celebrities like Amithabh Bacchan and Gulzar. It is for these notes that I am putting up this blog entry. Will keep updating it as I download more of these notes from their website.

Note: I make absolutely no claim to any of these anthems. None of them are my work at all. So, ToI, please don't sue me for plagiarism or IP rights infrigement. :-).

This is Amitabh's take on India which he feels is on the verge of breaking all shackles restraining her at the moment and bound away to touch the sky. As Ian Malcolm (of Jurassic Park and The Lost World fame, played by Jeff Goldblum) would call it, "at the edge of chaos."

But, how would you like Amitabh recite this anthem out to you? That'd be a different experience altogether. Human expression paints a completely different hue of even the most mundane notes!! And this is as far from mundane as can be...

You can treat yourself to it here. Amitabh's anthem recitation.

I found the note to be quite meaningful and a subtle reality-check rap on the shoulder for someone like me living away from my homeland.

You can visit the India Poised website at http://www.indiapoised.com.

Till I am back, quietly letting the spirit sink in...

There & back again...

Well, almost two months since my last post. A lot's been going on in my head all this while.

Celebrated a lonely birthday. Was fun actually. The highlight of this birthday had to be the international telecon, 6 of us Infosys friends had. Giddy, terrific idea, though you unknowningly engendered the group which will now ensure that Jigna never experiences peace again :D.

Well, I had to leave for India the immediate morning after my birthday. Due to the elongated telecon, just barely woke up and managed to scramble onto the flight home :). That adventure deserves a separate post by itself!!

3 weeks in India were full of a lot of introspection, clearing of a mind overclouded with doubts, realizing constants in life. Questions still continue to berate me like silent sea waves upon a beleagured rock, just that the lashing is significantly less corrosive now.

Returned to Singapore today morning. And to my shock, almost everything seemed new, almost unfamiliar! Home is truly where the heart is...

And as for today itself - it was a day of surprises.

1. There was a nice layer of soot on my bed, on my furniture, on my clothes awaiting me when I opened my room. A layer of fungus on some of my clothes inside my cupboard added zing to the surprise. The recently begun construction just outside my condo is sure to give me lots of such gifts over the next few months.
2. My boss, who sits in India, arrives into Singapore today. And guess what, he flew the same flight as I. And I had zilch clue...Gulp :).
3. My mailbox saw a deluge of 600 new mails, replete with shabbily written ramble-ons from my agency, scores of attachments and million follow-up requests on a million things from various people.
4. For a change, my To-do list for the month looks half as empty as I have come to expect by now.
5. Saw an email in my box which brought totally unexpected and livening good news way ahead of their time :). Keeping my fingers crossed...(they are all pretty much knotted by now anyways).
   

As for the non-surprises, my lazy flatmate didn't get his copy of the house keys made from my set (which I had left behind with him for precisely this purpose).
Business, as usual, is "fati padi hain" ;).

Well, I am back again...in Singapore, have to ensure that I stay here, in body, mind and soul over the next few months. They are gonna prove critical.

Cheers everyone!

Technology eh...

Only now am I beginning to appreciate the labors of companies who had outsourced work to India/China.

My Bodhi tree was my call today with one of my suppliers in Beijing. An urgent issue had arisen which mandated calling her during her travel.

Try and picture this and you'll understand what I am trying to say.

Dialing No. Connected to reception.

Receptionist: @^#*%^#@ (A 5-Star hotel reception, ladI y mutters something in Chinese).
Moi: R-o-o-m N-o. 9 0 3 please.

Some music. Sounded Chinese in origin.

Room No. 903: Hello, this is XYZ here.

Moi: Hi XYZ. How are you?
XYZ: Hi Harsh. I am sorry, I can barely here you. What is it you wanted?
Moi: I need the final file.
XYZ: What?? The original bill?

Moi: The F I N A L file.
XYZ: Can you please call me again to see if we can get a better line?

Hang-up. Process repeat, go back to Dialing no. Make 6 iterations.

Finally, I gave up thinking you might as well send me the bill for all this pain!!

Imagine the fun when you are calling from America (accent or no accent) to a telephone line in India in a plush BPO office some 40 kms outside Chennai village and trying to explain your payroll process to a "I can & will vonly speeeg Taamil" employee. You will end up getting pay-slips with all sorts of "Jalebi-like" sketches all over it!!

Today's lesson: Technology's goal is to introduce innovative avenues of hilarity in our lives ;).

Harsh.

A new-age wisdom :)

A good start to a working Tuesday morning.

You might have heard all of the following adages reflecting centuries of wisdom.

1. The grass is always greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to mow.
2. No matter which side of the rainbow you are on, the pot of gold will always appear at the other end.

Presenting my new-age take on the wisdoms-that-be :)

"The hotter chics are always on other men's arms, but they are just as hard to stick with."

Creativity rocks!!!

The world's best comedian - Ram Jethmalani

Presenting the Indian judiciary's leading star... Let the world watch and mock :).


http://www.ibnlive.com/videos/25393/exclusive-jethmalani-flays-media.html

Of pick-up lines and intentions.

My flatmate and I saw this movie called Bas Ek Pal starring Jimmy Shergill, Sanjay Suri, Urmila Matondkar, Juhi Chawla and one more listlessly passable weirdo.

Just a note out of benevolence. Consider going out to the nearby traffic light and watching cars come, stop at red and vroom away at green before you decide to dive in to this movie. It's only about half as interesting if not worse.

Anyways, getting back to the topic, I can summarize the background for today's post as under - Sanjay Suri is a USA-returned stud who flips out on Urmila seeing her at a pub, picks up a brawl with the guy who claims to be her man, ends up firing a pistol shot that paralyzes Jimmy Sherill and is thrown into jail.

Now, while in jail, he keeps on fantasizing about Ms. Tangmodkar. Now, I don't know whether that was a Cupid hangover or just his brain's hallucination trying to ease the pain while he was getting "done" by his cellmate :D. (A friend later pointed out that things actually happen and that it was surprising I didn't know about it. Darn!! I haven't been fortunate enough to have gone to jail, how am I supposed to know!!)

Well, so the movie meanders along. Cutting all the noise out, important thing is Urmila (who's engaged to Jimmy Shergill, Sanjay Suri is aware or this fact.) ends up going one night (Yes, it was raining, as if it had a choice of staying up in the heavens) to meet Mr. Suri who's managed bail. And then this sequence ensued, which sent the two of us rolling off the sofa to the floor, guffawing in laughter.

Urmila: Aakhir tum chaahte kyaa ho mujhse. (What do you expect from me?)

Sanjay: Maine teen saal jail mein roz yehi sapna dekha thaa. Jab main subah uthu, tum mere bagal mein leti huee ho aur tumhaare hoton pe halki si hansi chhayi huee hain aur main tumhaare komal badan ko *something something* (don't remember the Hindi).

Kyaa tum mera yeh sapna poora kar sakti ho??

(3 years in jail, I just had this dream. When I wake up each morning, I find you lying next to me, with a light smile on your lips and I caress your soft body. Can you fulfill this dream/desire of mine?)

Now neither of us, even in 70 lives, have a claim to fame of being lady-killers and being pundits on one-liners or the likes, but we both felt that this was a phenomenally pseud and sophisticated way of requesting a one-night fling. A really glib way off filing a corny request!!

To us, it had plain, simple SEX written all over it - in all CAPS, font size = 80 :).

Both of us dismissed it off saying that such shit wouldn't ever work!! But, vallah vallah...we later were forced to bite our tongues. When we narrated this story to a couple of female friends, they expressed totally polar views to ours - how romantic and thoughtful, not lustful and non-guys like!!

Can you believe that - it bloody does work!!

Now I get it. Our fundae are all screwed up. No wonder we are sitting at home on a lazy weekend watching such travesties!

A booster shot

Fattie, a.k.a. Priyatham (u asked for this!!), said something today that moved something inside me.

He narrated his visit to the hospital to see a friend and how he felt what a brave girl she was. How cheerful she was in the face of a plastic surgery!!

He said he almost broke down seeing her. He went on to say that he would never forget this Sunday in his life. It brought him immense resilience and resolve to never, never give-up in life.

I usually don't associate Fattie talking like this. Being honest Fattie.

But his words manifested into fort walls today - lofty, strong and infallible. Something about them gave me strength. And I needed it.

Was a indiffirent weekend, this one. Was feeling gnawed all through. Just generally.
Life is so difficult to fathom, so difficult to be in control of. But then, just when you are about to lay down arms, reinforcements come up from avenues you never expected or bothered to look to.

Thanx Fattie...the old Horsie will wake up again tomorrow, Monday morning.

The Steve Waugh spirit is rekindled.

The week in Sports

U.S. Open 2006

→ Roger Federer claims his 3rd successive US open and 9th career slam. Phenomenal!!

→ The ohhhhhh-so-sexy Maria Sharapova vanquishes Justine Henin-Hardenne for her maiden US open and 2nd career title. Hoping countless more follow ;).

→ Justine Henin becomes the first player since Steffi Graf to reach all 4 Grand Slam Singles Finals in a calendar year. She won the French but lost the other 3 - Australian & Wimbledon to Amelie Mausresmo and US to Sharapova.

→ First time in Tennis history that a male and a female player reach all 4 Grand Slam finals (Roger Federer and Justine Henin).

→ Martina Navratilova continues making a mockery of age and all sorts of records as she powers her way to her 59th career Grand Slam title partnering Bob Bryan for the Mixed Doubles.

→ Two tennis greats finally adieu to the courts - Andre Agassi and Martina Navratilova. Bleary eyes and heavy hearts the world over.

F-1, Italian Grand Prix @ Monza

→ Michael Schumacher & Ferrari once again outfox the nitwits at McLaren at pit strategy and win the race.

→ Alonso blows up his engine in his bloodrush allowing Schumacher to close to within 2 points of the championship lead.

→ The season's nicely poised for one of the tightest and fiercely, closely fought finales with the Chinese, Japanese and Brazilian Grand Prixs to come.

→ Michael announces his retirement shortly after his victory with the unimaginable 100 victories mark just a season away.

Cricket - DLF Cup, Malaysia

→ West Indies wither away and squander a golden chance of putting one over the indomitable Aussies as they lose 9 wickets for just 29 runs in the series opener.

→ Match 2: India vs. West Indies - Tendulkar returns with a bang to silence all those aspersing him as a Titan of the past by slamming 141 against the Windies. But it’s déjà vu all over again as the Indian bowlers get tonked all around the park and India lose the match courtesy M/s Duckworth and Lewis.

UEFA Champions League

The heavyweights of European football return to the biggest club football saga in the world. Amidst much fanfare, some clubs go about doing their business clinically – play football, score goals, win matches while others get lost in the blitz of the media lights.

→ Defending champions, Barcelona hammer 5 past new boys Levski Sofia.

→ Usual Suspects Chelsea, Milan, Bayern Munich all win comfortably scoring 2,3,4 goals respectively.

→ Valencia produce a masterful performance powered by Fernando Morientes’ hat-trick to win 4-2 away to Olympiacos.

→ Last year’s runners-up, Arsenal commence with a convincing win away to Hamburg with new signing Tomas Rosicky justifying his multi-million pound deal with a classy strike that will surely show up in the season’s best goals list.

→ The much hyped Real Madrid under Fabio Cappello once again disappoint as Lyon easily defeat them 2-0.

→ Liverpool make heavy weather of a reasonably manageable fixture, as they so often do, to earn a 0-0 draw in Eindhoven.

→ Celtic throw caution to the winds as they push Man Utd. To the edge and almost over as they make the Red Devils slug out a 3-2 victory at Old Trafford.

Name = Horsie, Work = Donkey's ;)

Without the slightest of doubts, my best day in life!!

Morning 10am - Night 9.30 pm: All I did today was data setup, cleaning and formatting today.

Activities include:

1. Copy pasting of cells from across Excel files - As the great gyaani Baba Mohanty would say, "draugg it".
   
   
2. Coloring various cells with the wonderful palate that Mr. Gates provided in his most benevolent gift to mankind so far
   I think I exceeded expectations on this activity today. Optimized on the color use - the file actually has an artistic hue to it now.
   The satisfaction one gets out of doing "creative" work is unparalleled. I titled my creation "Global Unity & Harmony" as that is what you'd get if you randomly mixed the colors of the flags of the world.
   
   Thinking of patenting this idea, selling it to Bill Gates/UNO/US President (the man concerned most about world peace). And ofcourse, all the proceeds will go to charity ;).
   
   
3. Reconciling 3 formats used for reporting the same data - I am only now beginning to appreciate the finer nuances of how sensational the Gillette methods of working are.
   Considering they had no significant competition to give them so much as a hiccup in this region, they had to indigenously come up with challenges for their employees - you have to be at the "cutting" edge.
   
   So, they came up with up an absolutely ingineous plan.
   Shipments, Consumptions and Annual reports are quoted in entirely anti-similar formats. Anti-similar as there's no obvious linkage between Shipments and Consumption of various brands. Infact, shipment data for the same country, brand, period combination when drawn from different sources can be conflicting. Sub-brand and group totals can exceed mother brand / company shipment totals :D.
   
   So, the challenge is to know the right source, all the right sources for the 500-odd SKUs that they have and the right brand list.
   
   Now, that's what I call challenging work!! And people wanted to participate in the Crystal Maze to test their claimed intelligence...idiots.
   
   Dumbguns, learn from Gillette - learn to make challenges for yourself by mangling and juggling around with your data. It will always keep your employees at their "sharpest".
   
   Obviously, such extra-ordinary methods were devised by some high-flying MBA. And you necessarily have to be equipped with an MBA to even being considered worthy of deserving a shot at this twister!!
   

What a day!! Wishing that my entire career is full of such days...

No, though I know you guys are envious, you can't bribe me out of my job.
I love my job!!!

New English word: Schumacher = perfection, domination, God-status

I don't know when I last felt so despondent. Michael Schumacher is retiring after this season.

An era 's ending in the history of sport. Not just F1, all sport. From the time when Ferrari was a car that had to be wrestled to the chequered flag to that sublimal 15-race dominating dream baby of 2004, Schumacher has single-handedly rewritten every single history book there ever was in F1.

He is a game changer. He is inspiration. He is supremacy. He is trying that one bit harder and beyond. He is the man that rewrote the very definition of perfection and domination.

There have been countless and there will be countless who every now and again will rise to prominence, surpass existing records and be masters of their own game. But rarely do Schumiz arise who transcend conventional boundaries of their spheres of excellence and go on to have a profound impact on human society in general. They become the benchmarks, the touchstones which the world would endeavor to equal endlessly. Lance Armstrong and Tiger Woods are the only two similar names that I can recall in contemporary sport. The FedExpress and maybe Rahul Dravid are on their way there. And I am pretty sure you can't append too many more names to this clique.

The jobless HR departments of the world (that tells you my opinion of them!!) would do well to take a cue from this chap's life. Put up his poster in office instead of making all those jazzy pin-ups with big-big words in them which do anything but motivate.

He's had his detractors and his moments of madness. But you can't take away his passion, his single-minded focus on winning everytime he got behind the wheel. It takes some fire in the belly to go and slug it out fortnight after fortnight when you know that you have nothing left to prove, that you sit unchallenged at the peak, that there are light years between you and your peers. God only knows what it takes to come out and dig in for some silly zig-zagging across a round circuit when you know your mother is also counting down a vital few seconds- albeit in a hospital bed.

I, for one, will definitely shed some silent tears. Cannot comprehend F1 as F1 without him.
Michael Schumacher - The Tiffosi God, the rainmaster, the legend...the world bows in deference.

An ailment called Apathy

During my round-up of the news today, stumbled upon the Jessica Lall murder case story. The accused doctor has appartently surrendered. That's all I know. So far.

Only after I had moved onto all the other more "interesting" news "stories", did this thought strike me as to how much indifference we Indians harbor in us. I just skipped over the story as though it were another flippant story.

Come to think of it - terrorist attacks, bomb scares, red alerts, devastating floods - have almost become daily, mundane chores in India's day. Scariest part is we seem to have internalized them just like share script swings from Siberia to Antarctica. And Dalal Street is more likely to cause the next emergency announcement in the country than serial blasts or floods in multiple states. :(

Back to the point: a big dimension of law is to set precedents and norms for the society as to what is acceptable and what absolutely isn't. Law works by example - that's the reality. People label Singapore autocractic - but look at the other side of the coin - it's close to a self-governing state. It is way too incomprehendible for an Indian who has just accepted the judiciary taking eons to even call so much as a Head or a Tail!!

If the gulity are actually brought to the book in the Jessica Lall case, it will be a landmark judgement in India's legal and social history. It will perhaps rekindle that dead spirit inside us telling us that a human life has value - every single one.

I personally too never realized this until I came to Singapore and were I in India currently, I am sure this entry would've been some electrical impulse in one of my neurons (few) that never quite sparked!!

Apathy and indifference could possibly, and quite easily, be the worst plague to have hit us - in epidemic proportions. Cure required...and real quick. Hoping that this case be the beginning of the End. Not a Fool's hope, I hope.

Cricket in throes...

I couldn't believe myself when I found Dumdum (remember, I have an evil twin ;) ) actually rooting for Pakistan in the 4th test of the England - Pak series.

Its saddening that even after all these years in international Cricket racism is so maliciously prevalent. Sub-continent players are penalized for what would be minor offences for the white teams while the whites - players and umpires - virtually get away with murder. Rahul Dravid - Michael Slater during the famous 2001 Calcutta test, Saurav Ganguly in Zimbabwe, Muttiah Muralitharan for chucking, Sachin Tendulkar - Glenn McGrath down under. South African cricket's unending troubles with the selection of black players..

And now, the ball tampering accusation on Inzy.

The magnitude of injustice against the brown and black skinned players seems to be amplifying ever more with each passing year.

Darrel Hair brought the entire game to disrepute with his audacious e-mail to the ICC and admittance to rigging of his umpiring decisions to favor the white teams. He literally slapped the ICC across the face, knowing they were a senile, spineless body of eunuchs who could cause him no harm even if they wished to.

And as expected, Mr. Hair is a forgotten chapter now. The spotlight now revolves towards the upcoming Champions Trophy in India.

Sports has an amazing knack of being able to show you the entire spectrum of human emotions and capabilities - from unabated ebullience of victory, masterful performances to the downright abject and detestable lows of doping, cheating, cold-blooded vendettas.

Perhaps reality is that these two aspects go hand-in-hand together - exactly like the precept of Dan Brown's Illuminati - perfect symmetry.

Engineers make brilliant Politicians...

Only recently I read a Singaporean minister's views on how to make Singapore an even bigger tourist attraction in a newspaper. If I enjoyed a franchise right here, I'd vote for him blindly.

The dude had this to say. It's no longer enough that Singapore is a safe and convenient haven for tourists. People want it be more lively and more happening. So, Singapore's taking definitive steps in this regard as tourism is a major lynchpin in this country's economy.

He then goes on to say that these days tourism is all about pleasure - carnal and material pleasures!! Strip bars, topless discs/dance bars, pick-up joints and the associated "night-life" are the next big catchment area.

At this point, I was like in awe of this person. Could immediately sense a connect of wavelenghts!!
Now before my character scores plummet to the levels of a certain Mr. Clinton, I shall clarify my reasons:

1. The engineer that I am, I figured in a second that this guy had to be an engineer. No two ways about it!! He demonstrated the classic engineer motto - If there ain't a problem, create one...then later go on and fix it.

Half the world is creating such a ruckus against such "pleasures" and our man here is talking of promoting them. Imagine tax payer's money finding the conduit to funding competitions like "Best Pole Dance", "Best assets" etc!! Rock on brother, you have 100% votes from people under 25 - infact they'll work double shifts if you actually pull this thru :D.

2. This style is quite similar to the Indian way of governance. Which makes me feel at home. For beautification's sake first raise a tree, then complain of too much oxygen, hence cut the tree down to a stump...and reinvent the wheel all over again!!

But I definitely ain't complaining!! I love Singapore.....

Fate...

A whole glass panel just collapsed today in Plaza Singapura (that’s where the StarHub office is).

It must have been atleast 4ft x 2ft in dimensions.
Right in front of my eyes, barely 10 mtrs away from me. It just gave way and fell all of 1 floor onto the escalator below.

The impact was ear shattering!! Almost like a bomb blast.

Had someone been on that escalator, Plaza Singapura to pakka band ho jaata.
Thank God no one got hurt.

Think about it...you could be having the happiest day of your life - strolling merrily around in a mall, girlfriend in arm, your wallet firmly housed in your back-pocket ;) and bam... This could be fate :(.

Think about it...

ATSC Nostalgia

Got a cable tv and an internet connection done today evening for our apartment. What the agent was saying would take 3-days and StarHub saying 6 days to get activated (and more money), we finished in 3 hours. Simply by going to the outlet personally, breaking our heads on what plans are the most economical, paying cash and taking hardware delivery.

Which brings me to Star Hub. Who ever knew choice could be such a big problem. Man, picking what plans to subscribe to today was one heckova pain!!

There are 3 basic services - mobile phone, Cable TV, internet broadband. A home landline service is also offered. Just for kicks!

And, as my ATSC lessons remind me, in a market dominated by few big players, tacit collusion tends to be the equilibrium state - whether Nash or Pareto - which moves the competition more towards the monopoly end of the scale.

So, bundling rules the roost and causes mayhem. Project details as under:

Data: We are existing StarHub mobile customers. That makes you eligible for discounts.

Constraints: Option of taking internet connection only for 6 months i.e. no lock-in period.

Objective: Optimize costs, get cable tv and internet service.

The variables governing choice of service are:
- Length of contract (lock-in)
- Monthly costs, Hardware and other initial costs
- Discounts and offers.

We had the following choices to pick from:

Plain vanilla contracts – No bundling, no fun, no cheap. So, no in feasibility list.

Bundled pack - Cable tv, internet, home line connection. Contract period - 1 year for all 3.
Discount of S$88 annually, hardware purchase costs waived off (which are artificially hiked in the first place). As you take all 3 basic services, you get an additional 15%, 10%, 5% off on mobile, cable, internet monthly bills for the first year. Throw in a home line with unlimited free local outgoing calls :D.

A corporate connection - You cannot bundle the three services now. Individual contracts for all three, pay only for 8 months of Cable TV in a year, internet connection no discounts, no hardware costs waived.

So, you can imagine how hard our already strained intellectual resources had to stretch to assimilate all the possible discount options and evaluate what was the objective meeting, constraint satisfying option (man, with so much jargon, I am beginning to sound like a consultant).
We tried all sorts of permutations and combinations, calculated total costs, tried the opportunity cost model, asked a zillion things and somehow eventually figured that a corporate connection for cable tv and a plain vanilla internet connection would work best for us. We were poring over this conundrum for over 1.5 hrs.

The girl who was attending to us was incredibly patient. Though I am sure by the end of it all, she was at her patience’s, sales skills’ and wits’ ends. We had toggled so many times, asked soooooooo many questions, pheuff!!

Good thing that we had already decided our TV channel mix beforehand. Else, that would have been another 45 mins smoked.

So, all-in-all life is now beginning to look up. We moved into this apartment on Monday night. Its huge…10th floor, nice breeze, lazing view!!

We have a net connection at home now – which is élan vital for all of us. Connected back to the world (literally and of course to the special people in India :P). The computer and messengers are like taking the proportion of food and water in life!!

Blooper of the day

Learnt today that you can't call South East Asians "Chinkis" as we desis would term them in Singapore as this was the term used as slander when the Japs ruled here during WWII. The term's considered derogatory enough to actually get you deported from Singapore!!

Infantry’s day out…

No bosses in office today. Not for the next 3 days. Yippieee...

No meetings, updates, reviews.
No mentors, other people to watch out for, project guide

Just the infantry's day out...office never felt so wonderful :D. Why shouldn't every day be so terrific?

Afterall, we too deserve happiness :P.

Give peanuts, get monkeys :)

Yesterday - Not the brightest of Mondays I have had. Basically, I am trying to do a tradeflow estimation.

Here’s how I’d summarize the project so far.

1. I am a new hire who is doing this without any training.
2. Now, since the brands whose estimations I am handling were acquired recently by us, I am essentially living the acquisition – learning the acquiree’s systems and trying to fit them in somehow into our systems.
3. The knowledge in the old system has been lost – simply ‘coz no one gives a damn - so basically I can summarize how most of work days progress by the picture below

Image courtesy: http://photos.surfline.com/albums/userpics/10102/

4. The guy in USA is asking my boss for a certain deliverable. Which he ofcourse is more than willing to promise – use thodi na karni hai Microsoft Excel se shaadi…

But, here’s the catch. The deliverable was never delivered even before the acquisition – reason being its way too much of an effort for the end purpose this estimation is going to serve. It’s a bit like trying to wield a bull just to hang your jacket on the horn!! :D.

Evidently, I had queries – on the methodology used to do the estimation. Which is when I heard the most amazing dialog in my stint at work so far. All credits and copyrights of the next few lines go to the guru in USA.

“Approach the project in this manner – think that there’s a party at your house. Obviously I am interested in the party in your living room and not your histrionics in the kitchen. So, why don’t you just serve me the goodies and let me decide on what I like best.”

Now that I think about this incident earlier in the day, I feel like saying this to him

“Dude…get real. Parties are for invitees. Those who gatecrash have to do the dishes and eat the leftovers.” :D. Different thing that had I said this, I would be working on a different b than my blog – biodata!! Lolss…

Gosh…I should have nailed this thing when I had the chance. Anyways, the obvious method in this case was – ASSUMPTIONS. This one word in English is a million blessings put together!!

Amazing that sitting in an A/C room in a plus Singapore office, I can govern how an entire country will play out for one entire year just by drawing a number I like and putting it into something as simple as F16 (an Excel cell!!).

This should be real good fun…delivery on Saturday. Which reminds me – bugger, pore over the excel and not on horsespeak…adios for now.

someone, somewhere....

said these beautiful words to me...

i love you babes....really.....

for this you i know.

that guy who is soooo typicallly a person

a real person...

now....

you dont see such people around anymore

very real....

honest...

faulty....proud of it...

great....proud of it...

works hard...

enjoys...

lives life....

wants a life...

and lives by his own code of honour

bad or good...

he owns it

doesnt live with the tide

and dreams...

he dreams about himself...

what he will do.....

he has no place in life for sand castles...

his dreams are real....you can feel then....you know they will happen....

no two ways about it...
just soo typical....
its a boon

you feel safe and alive...

atleast i do.

rarely are such words said in as much earnest. thanx a ton sweets!! u are ze beshtttt :P