Technology eh...

Only now am I beginning to appreciate the labors of companies who had outsourced work to India/China.

My Bodhi tree was my call today with one of my suppliers in Beijing. An urgent issue had arisen which mandated calling her during her travel.

Try and picture this and you'll understand what I am trying to say.

Dialing No. Connected to reception.

Receptionist: @^#*%^#@ (A 5-Star hotel reception, ladI y mutters something in Chinese).
Moi: R-o-o-m N-o. 9 0 3 please.

Some music. Sounded Chinese in origin.

Room No. 903: Hello, this is XYZ here.

Moi: Hi XYZ. How are you?
XYZ: Hi Harsh. I am sorry, I can barely here you. What is it you wanted?
Moi: I need the final file.
XYZ: What?? The original bill?

Moi: The F I N A L file.
XYZ: Can you please call me again to see if we can get a better line?

Hang-up. Process repeat, go back to Dialing no. Make 6 iterations.

Finally, I gave up thinking you might as well send me the bill for all this pain!!

Imagine the fun when you are calling from America (accent or no accent) to a telephone line in India in a plush BPO office some 40 kms outside Chennai village and trying to explain your payroll process to a "I can & will vonly speeeg Taamil" employee. You will end up getting pay-slips with all sorts of "Jalebi-like" sketches all over it!!

Today's lesson: Technology's goal is to introduce innovative avenues of hilarity in our lives ;).

Harsh.

A new-age wisdom :)

A good start to a working Tuesday morning.

You might have heard all of the following adages reflecting centuries of wisdom.

1. The grass is always greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to mow.
2. No matter which side of the rainbow you are on, the pot of gold will always appear at the other end.

Presenting my new-age take on the wisdoms-that-be :)

"The hotter chics are always on other men's arms, but they are just as hard to stick with."

Creativity rocks!!!

The world's best comedian - Ram Jethmalani

Presenting the Indian judiciary's leading star... Let the world watch and mock :).


http://www.ibnlive.com/videos/25393/exclusive-jethmalani-flays-media.html

Of pick-up lines and intentions.

My flatmate and I saw this movie called Bas Ek Pal starring Jimmy Shergill, Sanjay Suri, Urmila Matondkar, Juhi Chawla and one more listlessly passable weirdo.

Just a note out of benevolence. Consider going out to the nearby traffic light and watching cars come, stop at red and vroom away at green before you decide to dive in to this movie. It's only about half as interesting if not worse.

Anyways, getting back to the topic, I can summarize the background for today's post as under - Sanjay Suri is a USA-returned stud who flips out on Urmila seeing her at a pub, picks up a brawl with the guy who claims to be her man, ends up firing a pistol shot that paralyzes Jimmy Sherill and is thrown into jail.

Now, while in jail, he keeps on fantasizing about Ms. Tangmodkar. Now, I don't know whether that was a Cupid hangover or just his brain's hallucination trying to ease the pain while he was getting "done" by his cellmate :D. (A friend later pointed out that things actually happen and that it was surprising I didn't know about it. Darn!! I haven't been fortunate enough to have gone to jail, how am I supposed to know!!)

Well, so the movie meanders along. Cutting all the noise out, important thing is Urmila (who's engaged to Jimmy Shergill, Sanjay Suri is aware or this fact.) ends up going one night (Yes, it was raining, as if it had a choice of staying up in the heavens) to meet Mr. Suri who's managed bail. And then this sequence ensued, which sent the two of us rolling off the sofa to the floor, guffawing in laughter.

Urmila: Aakhir tum chaahte kyaa ho mujhse. (What do you expect from me?)

Sanjay: Maine teen saal jail mein roz yehi sapna dekha thaa. Jab main subah uthu, tum mere bagal mein leti huee ho aur tumhaare hoton pe halki si hansi chhayi huee hain aur main tumhaare komal badan ko *something something* (don't remember the Hindi).

Kyaa tum mera yeh sapna poora kar sakti ho??

(3 years in jail, I just had this dream. When I wake up each morning, I find you lying next to me, with a light smile on your lips and I caress your soft body. Can you fulfill this dream/desire of mine?)

Now neither of us, even in 70 lives, have a claim to fame of being lady-killers and being pundits on one-liners or the likes, but we both felt that this was a phenomenally pseud and sophisticated way of requesting a one-night fling. A really glib way off filing a corny request!!

To us, it had plain, simple SEX written all over it - in all CAPS, font size = 80 :).

Both of us dismissed it off saying that such shit wouldn't ever work!! But, vallah vallah...we later were forced to bite our tongues. When we narrated this story to a couple of female friends, they expressed totally polar views to ours - how romantic and thoughtful, not lustful and non-guys like!!

Can you believe that - it bloody does work!!

Now I get it. Our fundae are all screwed up. No wonder we are sitting at home on a lazy weekend watching such travesties!